Does Your Child Have The Four Crucial C’s?

Hi this is Terri Borman, childcare provider and author of “Shapes Go to School.”   This book teaches children about shapes, colors and diversity.  It helps children to understand that everyone is different.  This week’s blog is about teaching young children the four crucial C’s.  By around age five the personality of a child is set so it is crucial the child understands the four C’s in the early years.  Children who have all the four C’s are caring, cooperative, considerate and creative.  Does your child have the four crucial C’s?

Connection

“I need to believe I have a place I belong.”

Children need to feel like they are connected and have value or else insecurity will set in.  Here are some things we can do to help children feel connected.

1.)   Show interest in each child and find out about their hobbies.

2.)   Give positive attention to each child.

3.)   Find and recognize strengths and talents of each child.

4.)   Show acceptance of each child.

Capable

“I need to believe I can do it.”

Children need to believe in themselves or else inadequacy will set in and the power struggle will begin.  They need to be encouraged to be self-reliant at every opportunity.  Here are some things we can do to help children feel capable.

1.)  Once a child has learned a new skill, allow them to keep doing it for themselves.

2.)  Make a child’s mistake become a learning experience by demonstrating the correct way.

3.)  Build a child’s confidence by believing in them and focusing on the improvement not the imperfection.

Counting:

“I need to believe I can make a difference.”

Children need to believe they contribute and have value or else they may see themselves as being insignificant and feel the need for revenge.  Here are some things we can do to make children feel like they count.

1.)  Promote contribution by allowing the children to do a job every day that aides in the day to day activities and let them have an input in the scheduling and the activities for the day.

2.)  Provide recognition by sending them a note about what you noticed and appreciated about them that day.

3.)  Hold a meeting and let each child have a say about their likes and dislikes.

Courage

“I need to believe I can handle what comes.”

Children need to believe they can handle whatever situation arises or else they can feel a sense of hopelessness and give up.  Children with courage will learn more quickly because they will persevere and not give up.  Here are some things we can do to nurture courage in children.

1.)  Become expertly trained in the skill of encouragement, meaning always encourage every child every day.

2.)  Always focus on the effort and the improvement.

3.)  Replace the traditional competitive style approaches with cooperative ones.  It’s not always a race to the finish.

The Crucial Cs and Rudolf Dreikurs’ Short-Range Goals of Misbehavior

Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner

Child’s belief	Child feels	Child’s negative goal	Adult feels	Adult’s impulse	Child’s response to correction
I only count when I’m being noticed	insecurealienated	ATTENTION	irritated annoyed	REMINDWhat, again?	“temporarily” stops
My strength is in showing you that you can’t make me and you can’t stop me.	inadequate,dependent others arein control	POWER	angrychallenged	FIGHTI insist that you do as I say.	misbehavior intensifies
I knew you were against me. No one really likes me. I’ll show you how it feels.	insignificant	REVENGEget backget even	hurt or wants to punish	PUNISHHow could you do this to me? us? them? I’ll teach you a lesson.	wants to get even,makes self disliked
I can’t do anything right so I won’t try. If I don’t try, my failures won’t be so obvious.	inferioruselesshopeless	AVOIDANCE display of inadequacy	despairI give up.hopeless	GIVE UP It’s no use.	passive,no change,more hopeless,displaysinadequacy

Remember: Misbehavior is a symptom of the child’s discouragement at not having the Crucial Cs. Use encouragement and training through natural and logical consequences. Consider and agree on choices together.

Crucial Cs	Constructive Alternatives	Child’s belief	Child feels	Child’s positive goal
CONNECT	Replace negative attention with positive attention.   Plan activities together. Don’t ignore the child; ignore the misbehavior.   Teach self-sufficiency.	I belong.	secure	COOPERATION
CAPABLE	Don’t try to win. Give opportunity and choices so child can display power constructively.Maintain friendly attitude.	I can do it.	competentself-control	SELF-RELIANCE
COUNT	Avoid anger and hurt feelings. Maintain, appreciation in relationship. Offer chances to help. Seek support and help in identifying positives.(Don’t give up.)	I matter. I can make a difference.	significant valuable	CONTRIBUTION
COURAGE	Notice only strengths and ignore the negative. Set up steady exposure to manageable tasks that have a guarantee of success.No criticism.	I can handle what comes.	hopefulwilling to try	RESILIENCY

Copyright © 1995 Amy Lew and Betty Lou Bettner. The authors grant permission to copy this chart for educational purposes only, provided that the authors are cited.

a_teachers_guide_to_undertanding_and_motivating_students1

Resources:

I attended a child care training provided by the Tarrant County Professional Home Child Care Association April 9, 2014.  The trainer, Tiffany Tepper, LCSW, spoke to us about guiding children’s behaviors and the four crucial C’s.  She listed her resource as “A Parent’s Guide to Understanding and Motivating Children.” 

After further research, I found that the crucial C’s may have evolved from Alfred Adler’s theories.  Alford Adler founded the Society of Individual Psychology in 1912 and his theories have played an essential role in a number of areas including child development.

For a copy of “Shapes Go to School” click on the link below.

http://www.amazon.com/Shapes-Go-School-Terri-Borman/dp/1481758160/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1397427814&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=shapes+go+to+schooll