child abuse

Out of the Darkness Shedding Light on Child Abuse

Hi this is Terri Borman author of children’s book Shapes Go to School and childcare provider.  I recently attended a training seminar titled “Non-Stranger Danger Shining Light in a Dark Space” presented by Patricia E. Adams, who has dedicated her life to “bring light into the darkness of the spiritually wounded who have experienced traumas, terrors and near death in life.  Her belief is that God is not at fault, but is the remedy that will lead you on a true journey of transformation and restoration.”  Patricia explained to us that the greatest risk to children doesn’t come from “Stranger Danger” but actually from non-strangers, such as friends and family and that she hopes this training will be like “windshield wipers” to our eyes so that we can discern this evil that is happening to children all around us.

I was touched by Patricia’s testimony as she passionately told us that she herself was a victim of non-stranger danger sexual abuse, which started when she was two years of age and went on until she was over 18 years of age, and how at 17 years of age, she was pre-arranged to be married to a man more than double her age.   She prayed to God for a way out and eventually an opportunity made itself available for her to get away.  She then became gainfully employed and thought she was safe, but they eventually found her.   Unfortunately, she ran out of time, and we did not get to hear the end of that very dark chapter of her life.

Here are the facts:

  1. Experts estimate that one in ten children are sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
  2. One in Five children are sexually solicited while on the Internet.
  3. Youth are 2.5 times more likely to be raped than adults.
  4. About 35% of victims are 11 years old or younger.
  5. 30 to 40% of children are abused by family members.
  6. As many as 60% are abused by people the family trusts.
  7. Approximately 40% of sex offenders report being sexually abused themselves as children.
  8. Both males and females who have been sexually abused are more likely to engage in prostitution.
  9. Approximately 70% of sexual offenders of children have between 1 and 9 victims; 20-25% have 10 to 40 victims.
  10. Serial perpetrators may have as many as 400 victims in their lifetimes.

Talk Openly with Children:

  1. Teach children that it is wrong for anyone to act in a sexual way with them.
  2. Teach them what parts of their bodies are private and off limits.
  3. Teach them that the abuser might be an adult friend, family member, or older youth.
  4. Teach children not to give out personal information, such as email addresses, home addresses, and phone numbers.
  5. Be proactive and use everyday opportunities to talk about sexual abuse.  If a child seems reluctant to be with a particular adult, ask questions.

Children often keep the abuse hidden because the abuser is often manipulative, and may try to confuse the child about what is right and wrong.  The abuser might tell them it’s a game.  The abuser may have threatened harm to them or to their families.  Often times the children are embarrassed and ashamed to tell, or maybe they are too young to understand, or they love the abuser and don’t want any trouble to come to them.

Learn the Signs:

  1. Physical signs of sexual abuse is uncommon.  However, redness, rashes/swelling in the genital area, urinary tract infections, or other such symptoms should be investigated.  Physical symptoms associated with anxiety, such as chronic stomachaches or headaches, is possible.
  2. Emotional or behavior signs are more common. These can run from a child being too well behaved, to a child who is withdrawn and depressed, to a child with unexplained anger and rebellion.  Sexual promiscuity and language that is not age appropriate should be a warning.
  3. Some children will exhibit no signs at all.

Know What to Do:

All 50 states require that professionals who work with children report reasonable suspicions of child abuse.  Some states require that anyone with suspicions report it.

Two agencies handle most reports of child abuse: Child Protective Services (in some states this agency has a different name) and law enforcement.

Many states have toll-free lines that accept reports of abuse from the entire state.  To find out where to make a report in your state, identify the Child Abuse Reporting Numbers at The Child Welfare Information Gateway website,

If the legal system does not provide adequate protection for a child, visit the National Center for Victims of Crime at or call 1-800-FYI-CALL for referral information.

For More Information:

00B0B_dGlSBFfHl9M_600x450 While having fun reading my book, children will learn to recognize shapes and everything in between, such as colors, counting, and even diversity.  To order your copy click on the picture of the book.  To order a personally signed copy of the book click on this link:


Help Children Understand Bullying

It’s back to school time here in the United States and parents, caregivers, and school staff each have a role to play in the prevention of bullying.  Children need to understand bullying so they know how to stand up to it safely or when to go get help.  They need to have an open line of communication with their parents so they can get advice about bullying, and they need people modeling for them how others should be treated.

Help Children Understand Bullying.  Children who know about bullying can talk about it if it happens to them or to someone else.  Encourage children to report bullying when it happens and give them advice on how to stand up to a bully by confidently saying, “stop.”  Teach children strategies of what to do if saying, “stop” doesn’t work, such as walk away, stay with friends, or to go near other adults.  Urge children who see someone being bullied to get help.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open.  Children often look to parents for advice with life’s drama.  Here are some great conversation starters:

  • What was a good thing that happened at school today?
  • Did anything bad happen?
  • What is lunch time like?
  • Who do you sit with at lunch time?
  • What do you talk about?
  • What is it like to ride the school bus?
  • What’s your favorite subject?
  • What do you like best about yourself?

Start conversations about bullying with questions like these:

  • What does “bullying” mean to you?
  • What are kids who bully like?
  • Why do you think people bully?
  • Who are the adults you trust when it comes to things like bullying?
  • Have you ever felt scared to go to school because of bullying?
  • What things have you tried to change?
  • What do you think parents can do to help stop bullying?
  • Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose?  Do you think that was bullying?
  • What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?
  • Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids?
  • How does it make you feel?
  • Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?

Model How to Treat Others.  By treating others with kindness and respect, adults show the children in and around their lives that there is no need for bullying.  The children are watching, even when you think they are not, how adults manage stress, friendships, co-workers, and families.

Encourage Children to Take Part in After School Activities.   These activities, such as sports, choir, youth groups, or school clubs give children a chance to have fun and meet others with the same interests.  They can build relationships and confidence which helps protect them from bullying.

Hi this is Terri Borman childcare specialist and author of Shapes Go to School.  While having fun reading my book, not only will children learn to recognize shapes they can learn everything in between such as colors, counting, and even diversity.  I would like to spot light one of the characters from my book IMAG0216named Hexagon.  Looking bullyish, Hexagon is angry because he doesn’t like it when people call him names.  To purchase Shapes Go to School click on this link or click on the picture of Hexagon.


For More Information:

brown recluse spider

Brown Recluse Spider Bites on the Rise

The brown recluse spider, also known as the fiddleback spider due to the marking on its back which resembles a violin, is a spider with a venomous bite.  The spiders are typically light to medium brown in color and are typically found in southeastern Nebraska, southern Iowa, Illinois, and Indiana, southwestern Ohio, central Texas, western Georgia, eastern Tennessee, and into Kentucky.  The spiders can easily be relocated into other states, but successful colonization in these other states has yet to be seen.  Brown recluse spiders do not use their webs to catch food instead the male and female will leave their webs to hunt at night.  The males will hunt further from the web than the females, and they will hunt for crickets, cockroaches, and other soft bodied insects.

Like it says in their name, the brown recluse spiders tend to shy away from people.  They favor dark isolated places such as wood piles, sheds, garages, attics, and cellars.  When dwelling inside residences, they prefer cardboard boxes, but it’s not unheard of to find them in shoes, work gloves, dressers, clothes stacked or piled on the floor, behind baseboards and picture frames, beds, and even in toilets.  Contact with people often occurs when these isolated places are disturbed and the spider feels threatened, such as when cleaning out a closet or the garage.

Within the first few minutes of a brown recluse bite an itching/burning sensation will begin.     Over the next 6 to 8 hours, the enzymes in the venom will kill tissue and cause the immune system to respond.  There will be intense pain and itching at the bite site, as well as swelling, blistering, or the formation of puss.  The bite will have a bulls-eye appearance, and there will be a bright red dot surrounded by a wide ring of grayish or yellow skin.  The severity of the bite will determine on how much venom the spider has administered to its victim.  The spider may have just used its venom on something else, therefore, depleting its venom supply, or maybe the victim was bit by a juvenile brown recluse.   A juvenile will not have as much venom as an adult brown recluse.

brown recluse spider bite less venom       brown recluse spider bite more venom    This person received less venom.                      This person received more venom.

The best treatment of a brown recluse bite is to use ice for the pain and swelling and leave the bite alone.  Ointments and antibiotics are not going to be effective.  Dr. Donna Seger, medical director of the Tennessee Poison Center, said, “As physicians, it is hard for us to do nothing.  The bite has classic characteristics, but if physicians are not familiar with this bite, the tendency is to debride (remove infected tissue) and cut out the lesion.  This actually slows the healing process, and can result in disfigurement that would not occur if the lesion were left alone.”   Sometimes the bites can cause more severe symptoms throughout the body, such as fever, rash, and muscle pain, and can be life threatening for children.  “Our recommendations,” says Dr. Seger, “are that children under 12 with a brown recluse bite should have a urine test for the presence of hemoglobin (the compound in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the body) in blood.”

  There are several pesticides available for spider control, however, brown recluses have perched legs which allow them to walk over most pesticides making them ineffective.  Sticky traps placed along baseboards offer a way to trap spiders and provide an idea of population levels in the residence or garage.

Since brown recluse spider bites are on the rise, here are some suggestions:

  1. Remove all woodpiles and other debris away from the residence.
  2. Replace cardboard boxes with plastic containers with air tight lids.
  3. Move furniture and beds away from walls, remove bed skirting or ruffles that drag the floor, and remove any items stored beneath the beds.
  4. Keep all clothing and shoes picked up and shake out any clothing, shoes, or work gloves that have not been worn in awhile.
  5. Use sticky traps along the baseboards since pesticides are ineffective.
  6. Vacuum and dust more often.

Sometimes other infections are misdiagnosed as brown recluse bites.  There are a number of documented infections that produce similar wounds such as Staphylococcus, Streptococcus, herpes, diabetic ulcers, fungal infections, chemical burns, toxicondendron dermatitis, squamous cell carcinoma, vasculitis, syphilis, toxic epidural necrosis, sporotrichosis, and Lyme disease.  The most important of these is Staphylococcus, a bacteria that causes wounds very similar to those of brown recluse bites and can be deadly if not treated.  The picture below is of a person infected with Staphylococcus, and you can see the similarity between Staphylococcus and a brown recluse bite.


Hi this is Terri Borman childcare specialist and author of Shapes Go to School.  I provide quality care and education to children under the age of 5.  I have had parents show me bites the children had gotten the night before during their sleep.  Thankfully, none of the children have been bit from the naughty brown recluse spider.  If these spider bites are on the rise, then I want to send out a warning.

Shapes Go to School is a book that teaches children shapes and colors.  Its colorful illustrations and classroom setting will entertain and educate your children.  They will ask to read it over and over.  If you would like to purchase a copy of Shapes Go to School, click on the picture of the book cover.


For more information about the brown recluse spider:



laundry pods with candy

The Dangers of Laundry Detergent Pods

In order to raise awareness of laundry detergent pod injuries and poisonings, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) issued an alert to the public in 2012 about the risks of laundry detergent pod injuries, and the risks of poisonings the pods pose to children who are exposed to the chemicals inside the product.

The bright and colorful laundry detergent pods were introduced into the U.S. market in 2010 and are marketed by many different brand names.  The pods contain highly concentrated chemicals which pose a much greater health risk for children than regular laundry detergent and can cause severe to life threatening symptoms and even death.

Children who swallow regular laundry detergent will typically experience a mild upset stomach. Unfortunately, the symptoms for swallowing the highly concentrated laundry detergent pods cause more severe life threatening symptoms, such as excessive vomiting, wheezing or gasping for air, lethargic behavior, severe respiratory distress requiring intubation, and if it gets in a child’s eyes, corneal abrasions or scratches may occur.

Children mistaken the bright and colorful squishy laundry detergent pods for candy or teething toys, and they will put the laundry detergent pods into their mouths, chew on the them, and/or squeeze them in their hands causing them to rupture.  Each year there has been an increase in the number of reports involving poisonings and/or injuries to children under the age of 5 from laundry detergent pods.  In 2012, over 6,000 reports involving laundry detergent pods injuring children were received by poison control centers nationwide.  In 2013, more than 10,000 reports were made.  Unless there’s more public awareness, there may be more than 14,000 reports received in 2014.

Proctor & Gamble, manufacturer of Tide Pods, agreed to make several changes to their product packaging.  They altered the containers to an opaque material instead of using a clear plastic to keep children from seeing the brightly colored product inside.

Here is a true story posted on Facebook from a mom, Kelly Landry:

Wyatt  “For those of you who don’t know Wyatt bit into a laundry detergent pod on 7/25. Because of this he had to be intubated ( have a breathing tube) and life flighted from Sun Valley to Boise to be put in to the PICU. Apparently there is a certain chemical in the soap pods that create acid in the blood stream. After 2 days of IV fluids and several breathing treatments Wyatt is home. I will never again have these around my son. And just want other moms to be aware of what they can do!! (He bit into one that was clear).  Please feel free to share!!!!! Share share share!!! Help get the word out!!!”

Help me spread the word!  Keep laundry detergent pods and other household cleaning agents high and out of the reach of children.  Don’t even let your toddler or young child help you throw the laundry detergent pod into the washer.  One squeeze could pop the pod, spraying the liquid in your child’s eyes.   If your child has been exposed to a laundry detergent pod, call your local poison center at 800-222-1222 immediately.  If your child has ingested the chemicals inside the laundry detergent pod, or has gotten the chemicals in his/her eyes, call 911 or take your child immediately to the Emergency Room.

For more information see these sites:

Hi this is Terri Borman, author of Shapes Go to School and childcare specialist.  I provide quality care and education to children under the ages of five.  I use this blog to help promote my children’s book, but also to help promote the health and safety of all children.  If you would like a personally signed copy of my book, Shapes Go to School, click here!


Featured Image -- 529

Car Seats & Shopping Carts: A Dangerous Combo

Originally posted on The Car Seat Lady:


Parents use infant car seats as more than just car seats. Babies are often carried in these seats, ride in them on stroller frames, sit in them atop shopping carts, and nap in them while in the house and on the go.

A 2010 study in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics found that nearly 10,000 babies in the US are injured each year in their infant car seats NOT in crashes, but rather while using the seats outside of the car.  

1 in 10 of these babies are injured severely enough that they have to spend at least 1 night in the hospital.  

Of the injuries, 85% were related to falls – 65% of the infants fell out of the car seat, 15% fell from elevated surfaces (with shopping carts, tables, and counters being the most common surfaces).


View original 362 more words


LOL It Can Change Your Life

laugh We have all heard the sayings, “laughing is good for the soul” or “laughter is the best kind of medicine.”  These sayings originated from the Bible over 3000 years ago.  Proverbs 17:22 NIV says,  “a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”  Hi this is Terri Borman childcare provider and author of Shapes Go to School.  Today’s post is about the importance of laughter, and I have listed below 10 positive things laughter does for your physical well being:

1.) Laughter is better than Vitamin C; it will boost your immune system.

2.) Laughter improves blood flow which energizes organs such as the heart, the brain, and the lungs.

3.) Laughter reduces aggression and tension.

4.) Laughter allows you to form connections and bonds with others.

5.) Laughter manages pain by releasing endorphins (peptides that offer a feeling of well being and help with pain management).

6.) Laughter helps stabilize blood sugar levels.

7.) Laughter burns calories.

8.) Laughter improves blood pressure and blood flow.

9.) Laughter helps coping with the unexpected.

10.) Laughter decreases the levels of stress hormones called cortisol and epinephrine.  These two hormones can suppress the immune system allowing sickness and disease to attack the body.

Laughter is contagious!  Click on this link for one liner jokes to tell your co-workers, friends, or children like What do you get when you cross a duck with a firework?  A firequacker! or Why did the turtle cross the road?  To get to the Shell Station!  In order to get children to laugh, you have to play silly games or tell jokes that are on their level.  A younger child may not understand the “Shell Station” punchline.  We loved to laugh as children, but somewhere along the way to adulthood we stopped laughing as much.  Incorporating more laughter into our diets will cause positive things to happen inside our bodies!

9781481758161_COVER_V3.indd  Order a personally signed copy of Shapes Go to School go from this website or click on the book!



heat kills

B.E. S.A.F.E.

heat kills2  Once a child’s body temperature reaches 107 degrees Fahrenheit, brain damage or death can occur.  This medical emergency is called heat stroke and so far this year, 2014, there have been at least seventeen heat stroke deaths of children left inside vehicles.  Even on days with relatively mild 60 degree Fahrenheit temperatures vehicles can reach deadly temperatures.  Hi this is Terri Borman child care provider and author of children’s book “Shapes Go to School” and I would like to share’s recommendations for these following B.E. S.A.F.E. tips.

B is for back seat- Put something in the back seat so you have to open the door when leaving the vehicle such as a cell phone, employee badge, handbag, etc. especially do this if you are not the usual caregiver dropping off the child at day care.  The number one reason for these deaths are from caregivers forgetting to get the child out of the car.

E is for Every Child- Every child should be correctly restrained in the back seat.

S is for Stuffed Animal- Move a stuffed animal from the car seat to the front seat to remind you when your baby is in the back seat.

A is for Ask- Ask your child-care provider to call you within 10 minutes if your child hasn’t arrived on time.

F is for Focus- Focus on driving don’t get distracted by a telephone call.

E is for Every Time You Park- Every time you park your vehicle open the back door to make sure no one has been left behind and lock your doors to stop your children from sneaking back in to play later.  The number two reason for these deaths are from children getting into cars to play without their parents knowledge and then the child is not able to get back out.

Day care buses are now coming equipped with safety equipment which requires the driver to go to the back of the bus to disengage an alarm in hopes that he/she will check each seat as they go.  Unfortunately, this safety step can be bypassed if the driver has a passenger (child) disengage it for them.

Security personnel, parking lot attendants and the general public should look for children alone in a vehicle and call 911 immediately.  If the child seems hot or sick, they should get them out of the vehicle as quickly as possible.

Here are some statistics:

  • Total number of U.S. heatstroke deaths of children left in cars, 2014:  17
  • Total number of U.S. heatstroke deaths of children left in cars, 2013:  44
  • Total number of U.S. heatstroke  deaths of children left in cars, 1998-present:  623
  • Average number of U.S. child heatstroke fatalities per year since 1998:38
  • See Monthly Statistics
  • See Per Capita Deaths by State
  • Circumstances
    • An examination of media reports about the 606 child vehicular heatstroke deaths for an fourteen year period (1998 through 2013) shows the following circumstances:
      • 51% – child “forgotten” by caregiver (312 Children)
      • 29% – child playing in unattended vehicle (177)
      • 18% – child intentionally left in vehicle by adult  (111)
      • 1% – circumstances unknown (6)
    • Demographics of Persons Responsible for Heatstroke Deaths of Children Forgotten in Vehicles

True Stories

cropped-9781481758178.jpg  Click here to order your personally signed copy!